What does confidence really look like?
Did you know...
That over two-thirds of women project the impression that they are strong confident women, yet on the inside are secretly just shitting themselves when it comes to dating the men they like!
Over Two Thirds!
When this statistic came to light in our market research from last year (2016), I nearly fell off my seat! It turns out that a fast majority of the single women in Sydney were not confident, comfortable and secure in themselves when it came to their dating life.
This isn’t to say they were not confident at all. On the contrary, the women we spoke to were killing it in their work life, their gym life and their social life. Yet, for some reason 'dating confidence' seemed very low.
This fascinated me and It wasn't long before I came to the conclusion that...
Confidence is not always transferable across life!
You can be confident at work, you can be confident in your field of expertise, you can be confident in writing and sending an email and at the same time, you can feel completely inept in some areas of your life.
I once heard this referred to as 'confidence is competence.'
When you 'know that you know something', you tend to feel so much more confident about it. You demonstrate a certainty in what you are doing.
This got me thinking,
I’ve been running social and dating confidence workshops for a few years now, helping women (and sometime men) refine and master their mindsets and social skill-sets to improve how they talk and interact with the opposite sex.
We are always exploring and teaching the fundamentals of flirting.
For example; the language to spark attraction, knowledge around how best to use your body language, how to build chemistry with a guy and even the social techniques you need to break the ice, start conversations and become the most engaging and charming woman in the room.
However, the one question that I kept getting asked was 'how'?...
How do I develop the confidence I need, to step out and be the woman who can do all those things?
Well here it is in a nutshell...
You need to get to know YOU.
Work on yourself, own your story, be proud of it and learn how to effectively communicate it to the world!
Let me explain this further.
We are very good at prioritising the 'other important things' in our life, leaving our dating life to drop to the bottom of the list.
Our jobs: We put in so much time, energy and effort in to study, to plan our careers, to find the right company, to get a job we will love. We choose to create a strategy, we plan and we invest our time.
Why? Because it's important to us!
Our health: We put in so much time, energy and effort in to going to the gym, setting up a nutrition plan, getting a personal trainer and scheduling out workouts. We choose to create a strategy, we plan and we invest our time.
Why? Because it's important to us!
Yet, when it comes to our love life and relationships, we don't respond we react, which leads me to ask the question,
Why, Is our love life not important to us?
Making the choice to develop the confidence you need for life is no different. You must spend time working on yourself, your mindset and your skill-sets.
Create a strategy, plan & invest your time in YOU!
Do you know who you are? Are you incredibly comfortable with your answer?
If you are not comfortable within yourself then all aspects of dating starts to feel very hard. Breaking the ice, being engaging and building chemistry can suddenly become very overwhelming and before you know it your nervous and worried about what he thinks of your every move.
However, if you chose to own your story and develop a level of certainty around who you are and what you look for in a relationship then everything starts to fall in to place effortlessly.
Simply put, 'confidence' can be defined as a certainty around your personal story. Confidence is the pillar that underpins everything we say and do.
If you can master an unbreakable sense of self, your dating life will become easy!
When you choose to adopt the behaviours of a confident, high value woman, you start to see things in a new light and through a new lens.
You don’t look for validation from others
You stop looking for approval, especially from the men you meet and date
You make your own decisions
You are in control of your own dating life and,
You no loner care about what other people think of you.
So, with my tongue in cheek, I ask you this...
Who are you?
Do you know?
if not, then ask yourself this...
Do I want to become a strong confident, flirty, funny, cheeky and charming woman?
Then what do you need to do to get there?
Know yourself, be totally comfortable with who you are and learn to be UN-APOLOGETICALLY YOU.
reach out if you want more from me at firstname.lastname@example.org