What to do when you’ve reached a point of ‘Dating Fatigue’
Confession: In the last month I’ve been on at least 10 different dates and I’m exhausted.
As much as I love meeting new people, learning about their lives, trying out new bars, and eating at fun places, there is an element of energy involved in dating that can sometimes get tiring.
The whole process becomes less enticing when the playful text banter doesn’t translate into real life chemistry, and you’re left wondering ‘will I ever find someone?’
When that last sentence whirled around in my head after yet another first time meeting, I knew I’d reached the point of ‘dating fatigue’. I’m usually a very positive upbeat person, but I realised that dating had lost its spark, and maybe I had too.
So here’s what I did to fix the situation:
1. I took a break from dating
Instead I hung out with my friends, made sure I was exercising and eating well, got more sleep, and found time to just relax about it all.
Realise there is no rush and sometimes space can be the best remedy to refresh your dating life.
2. I focused on being unapologetically me
Going on dates, where you just don’t ‘click’ with the other person can sometimes make you wonder if it’s YOU that’s the problem.
Maybe if you were more fun and carefree, had a bigger love for sports or the outdoors, or were the ultimate foodie then you’d be more attractive?
Well, I can tell you 100% that’s NOT the case.
Being unapologetically who you are is single-handedly the most attractive quality a woman can possess, but sometimes we lose sight of that in the search for Mr. Right.
Your quirkiness, values, and passions are what make YOU who you are. For me that’s being a science nerd, watching documentaries, playing sport, and making delicious food for dinner parties with friends.
Remember, there is someone out there who will find those things incredibly fascinating and attractive.
3. I reflected on my dating strategy
One thing I realised in that month of dating was that my strategy was taking too much time out of my already busy schedule.
Instead of grabbing a cheeky drink or harmless coffee, I was agreeing to dinners, coastal walks, and even an art gallery exhibit!
While there is nothing WRONG with this,
try saving the fun activities for the second or third date where you’ve actually established that they’re on ‘Team Sanity’, and the witty text banter has translated into initial real life chemistry.
Until that point, keep your dates, short, sharp, and playful.
4. I changed the way I thought about meeting guys
I feel like we sometimes pigeon hole ourselves into only meeting men in certain scenarios.
For instance, you only online date, use apps, or meet men at bars, instead of taking opportunities in your everyday life.
While I took a break from ‘dating’ as such, I started challenging myself to be curious about the men I came across every day.
Like the guy that made my coffee just the way I like it, or the hottie in my circuit class who always beat me at hill sprints. But the trick is to talk to ALL of them.
Taking a brave step to simply break the ice and talk about anything is an important skill because you become more socially confident in general instead of putting guys up on a pedestal and thinking of them as a holy grail that you’ve got to win over.
Although I’m still on a break from formally meeting guys, I know when I get back into it I’ll be excited and refreshed.
Don’t let the dating fatigue wear you down - let’s make dating great again!
Hope this helps