What Does Confidence Mean? (Part 1 - Certainty)
For as long as I can remember people have been saying to me, “be more confident,” but what the hell does that even mean, especially when it comes to dating…
When I first started to date, I was just down right terrible at it.
Now that I think about it, (and if I I'm being honest with myself) I’d say I was more terrified than anything else.
I was always so worried about looking like a complete fool in front of a girl.
Leading up to a date, I spent most of my time stressing out about the things that were completely out of my control…
“What if she doesn't like me, what if she thinks I'm a total nerd? What if I’m not fun, cool or good looking enough? What if I'm boring or if I can't take the lead and be the ‘man’ on our date”
It was exhausting.
To make things worse, I also had to endure the ‘wise words’ and advice (unsolicited, of course) of my so called mates. “Russ, you need to be more confident, women love a confident man”
WTF Guys, come on!
Where do I even start with that sentence?
I can’t begin to tell you how frustrating and unhelpful it is.
What does it even mean to be more confident, is there a definition has or a three step easy guide I can use?
Well that's just great, thanks a bunch lads!
Let's fast forward to today.
As a dating coach, I hear this all the time and I think it’s probably fair to say that if you are a woman dating in today's modern world, you might be going through the same thing.
“You need to be confident. Men are attracted to confident women. Confidence is sexy”
I bet that’s not the first time you’ve heard that, right?
This advice seems to show up everywhere, from all angles too.
Your bestie, your family, your work mates, the random girl who had one too many tequilas last night and felt the need to have an opinion on you're dating life.
You see, everyone is quick to tell you to “be more confident” and yet they have absolutely no clue what that means.
For me, it really boils down to one thing and for what it’s worth, here’s my take on what I think it is.
p.s. Keep and eye out for part 2 (coming next week).
I’ll deep dive even further into confidence and the three areas of your life where it could show up in dating.