Jules Robinson's #DateDifferently strategy
I’ve got a total girl crush on Jules Robinson!
You might remember her as one of the more down to earth and drama free participants from Season 6 of Married at First Sight.
She’s a beautiful woman with confidence, charm and integrity and my new role model for really knowing who you are and what you want.
My girl crush started when I watched her get married on the show.
Watching her meet Cam (her soon to be husband), for the first time, really got me thinking about our own #DateDifferently strategy.
In fact, it inspired me to write this blog,
If you missed it, we really drilled down into the question, what are you looking for in a man?
So, back to my girl crush...
I fell head over heels when I received a message on Instagram from Jules herself saying,
“I frickken love the article!”
Did she really just say that! (Admittedly, I did send her the blog to read, but I didn’t actually expect a response!)
However, my girl crush went next level when she agreed to meet up in person for a follow up interview.
Jules joined Russy and I for drinks, and we talked all things dating and relationships for over an hour.
Cam joined us too, and he is awesome, but (secretly) Jules is my true inspiration.
What I loved most about talking with Jules was that she not only oozed the kind of confidence and self love that we champion here at The Social Collective,
but she decided to take control of her own life and go after what she knew she always wanted.
It was so inspiring to hear Jules’ story and in all honesty, if we could ever have an advocate for our #DateDifferently strategy, I would choose her.
Without even having heard about our dating strategy, or what we do, Jules naturally embodied our core message and made it work for her.
Let me tell you more about what I learnt about Jules Robinson and how she aligned with our #DateDifferently strategy.
# DateDifferently - Think, Meet, Engage & Attract
Make a choice to change the way you think about your dating life, the way you see the men that you meet and your personal situations.
Take the time to know who you are, know what you want and be proud of what you bring to the table.
Prior to being a reality TV personality, Jules was just like the rest of us, a single woman dating in Sydney.
When I asked her what advice she’d give her younger, dating self, she said,
“Know yourself. Know what you want. Don’t devalue yourself. Bad relationships happen. Don’t lose yourself in them.”
Jules continued to explain, that over the last five years she’d done a lot of work on herself to grow into the woman she is today.
She particularly credits regular Kinesiology consultations for her unbreakable self esteem and continued confidence as a new public figure.
About a year before going on Married at First Sight, Jules started to date a man who she finally thought might be ’the one’.
She had met him after a countless string of “ground-hog day” dates (that never felt right), and they just clicked.
They shared the same values, had intellectual conversations and were on similar paths in life; but there was just one problem.
He didn’t want kids!
And he knew that being a great Mum was really important to her.
Jules explained that she was gutted when they made the heartbreaking decision to end the relationship. But, (as hard as it was) she didn’t take it lying down.
She did the opposite.
She did something incredibly empowering...
She bought herself an engagement ring!
She made a commitment to herself that she would stand by what was true to her.
She would not rely on anybody else to make her dreams a reality, and at the same time, she would continue to allow herself to love and be loved.
Take back control of the men you meet and don’t leave your future happiness in the hands of a dating app.
Take a risk and do something new and different to meet him.
After her break up, Jules said that she felt lost and that she didn’t want to go back to swiping, matching and bad dates again.
She felt like the way she’d been dating in the past was never going to work.
She was at a point in her life where she was willing to try something different, including putting herself out there to the world by marrying a complete stranger on reality TV.
Let me ask you this,
What would you be willing to do to meet the right kind of man for you?
How far out of your daily norm (of swiping and matching) would you be willing to go?
Jules Robinson was willing to turn her life upside down, take six months off from her every day routine and invest that time into getting to know a complete stranger.
Now, I know, we don’t all have the luxury to go to extremes, but what I find inspiring is that she was willing to put the time and effort in to push past her comfort zone.
And it worked for her.
When I asked Jules about the MAFS audition process, she enlightened me on how full on it was and how seriously she took it.
“There are pages and pages of questions that you need to answer, about your values, your vulnerabilities, your priorities, aspirations and even your past experiences with relationships."
"There’s interviews and tests and sessions where you really have to break yourself down and get real about who you are and what you want.”
Jules says she found this process was not only therapeutic, but also
“Extremely helpful in opening up my eyes to what was really important to me in life and relationships. It made me realise that it’s the simple things (like kindness) that mean more than anything else.”
You can only create a connection with someone though open and honest communication, so don’t hold back from expressing yourself.
Give it a chance and explore, through conversation, if he is the right guy for you (and remember, it’s OK if he’s not).
The experts may have done their bit, and put the right man in front of her, but it was up to Jules to open up and let him get to know her.
It was up to Jules to show him what sort of woman she was and to be honest about what sort of future she wanted.
During the show, you would have noticed a distinct lack of drama coming out of the Cam and Jules corner, they were televised as the perfect fairy tale couple.
But, what we weren’t shown, was the time they spent behind closed doors working through their own challenges, as and when they came up.
Jules and Cam credit their solid foundations to learning from what was going on around them, listening to the advice the experts gave other couples and applying it to their own relationship.
They understood that for a relationship to work, it needs more than just love and attraction, it needs honest communication.
They made a pact with each other that if something was bothering them, they’d bring it up in the moment instead of waiting to speak to the experts.
They built comfort with each other through honesty and openness.
Be cheeky, be charming and be playful, express your vulnerability, introduce touch, hold hands, steal a kiss and laugh;
but most importantly don’t be afraid to flirt with him. It’s the best part of dating.
Let’s get real for a second;
A relationship without sexual chemistry is a friendship.
Cam and Jules could have ended up as best friends, business partners or colleagues from a TV show, but they didn’t.
They fell in love!
From the moment they met, Jules showed her affection for Cam.
Their on (and off) screen chemistry seemed to explode through flirting, touch and genuine laughter.
Jules openly expressed her adoration for Cam and (in everyday situations) accepted small things like his jacket for warmth, his assurances when she was nervous and his gestures of love.
She may be a fiercely independent woman who has proven that she can make her own way in this world, but by allowing herself to be vulnerable she connected with Cam in a way that allowed him to show up as the man he wanted to be for her.
As our time together came to an end, I realised a couple of things.
Jules decided to #DateDifferently and it worked.
By changing the way that she thought about herself, her situation, her future and how she was meeting men, Jules Robinson changed her story.
She is now living the life she’s always dreamed of, and I for one, am inspired.
More than anything, hearing about Jules’ journey has given me hope that in a world filled with dating apps and digital frustrations.
Hope that other beautiful women in Sydney can also have the best chance at finding love.
P.S. I know dating can be hard and it can sometimes feel like its more of a mind f*ck then you actually signed up for.
If this is how you feel right now, the have a quick read of Russy's Dating Detox Guide.
It might help get your head in the game. Download it here.