The other day I went on a date and completely blew it.
I was in a bad head space after a stressful week at work and was not my normal charismatic self.
I some how found the conversation falling onto the most uninspiring topics.
Topics such as...
‘how about this weather hey?’,
‘what are your plans for the weekend?’, and I'm ashamed to say...
‘what do you do for work?’
I guess it was boring because I just let it be that way and if i'm honest, I don’t at all blame the guy for not asking me out a second date.
Hell I wouldn’t want to date me a second time in that circumstance!
But it did get me thinking about the mistakes we unknowingly make in the dating game.
Here are a few I've made in the past, maybe they will resonate with you?
Going on too many dates
In the age of Tinder, Bumble, Happn and other online platforms, you could have a date every day of the week if you like!
But is that really a good idea?
Time is a precious commodity and you should be spending it wisely.
Go on the dates with the guys who ask for your phone number and CALL you to set something up.
Having a 5 to 10 minute conversation will give you a really great indication as to who he is and who you might be meeting when you chat face to face.
Go on the same kind of date Every. Single. Time.
Are you always going out for drinks, quick after work dinner or a coffee?
Sure that’s an easy fall back, but what about trying something new?
Having a new experience together can spark conversation better than sitting across from each other playing 20 questions.
Why not check out an art gallery, a food festival, a bar with live music or a day date where you go for a walk or picnic somewhere.
Better still, invite him to something you are already doing!
(Check this blog for tips on what this might look like. These Four Words Could Set Up Your Next Date)
Not having something interesting to talk about
Now you don’t need to be a neurophysicist, but you do need to elevate the conversation.
Have a fulfilling life, read some books, watch the news, and do cool stuff during your down time like rock climbing, finding the best spots to go hiking, or even bird watching (quirky, but also awesome/cute) then bring those up in conversation.
Showing that you have interests beyond just finding a partner will make you happier and far more attractive to the opposite sex.
Agreeing with everything the other person says
I get it. You’re sitting across from someone extremely good-looking and sometimes you just want to impress him, which in your head means agreeing with what they have to say about EVERYTHING.
You don't want to rock the boat or say something he might disagree with just incase it sends the date spiralling in the wrong direction.
Please, please, please don’t make this mistake!
This is something Russ is always talking about!
"Have your opinion, stick to it and confidently communicate it to him, no matter what it is".
That said, you don’t need to beat the other person over the head with an overpowering opinion, but sharing your views is important and shows a lot about the person you are.
Not dressing up
I am 100% guilty of this one.
As someone who works in the health and fitness industry I’m always in my activewear.
But this does NOT make it appropriate date attire unless you’re actually doing something active.
Put a little effort in my friend - not for them, but for yourself.
Taking good care by exercising, eating well and dressing for success is a form of self-respect.
Plus wearing something you like that makes you feel, confident, comfortable and sexy will help you feel much more at ease on your date.
That's me... on my mission to #DateDifferently.
P.S. I know dating can be hard and it can sometimes feel like its more of a mind f*ck then you actually signed up for.
If this is how you feel right now, the have a quick read of Russy's
Dating Detox Guide.
It might help get your head in the game. Download it here.