3 Mindsets That Will Dramatically Improve Your Dating Life. #ThinkDifferently

"Where the hell have all the good men gone?"

I’m 29, single and dating in Sydney. I’ve been on Bumble, tried Tinder, struck up conversations with friendly looking guys at the bar, and been set up by friends.

My experiences have ranged from successful romantic dates, to stunted conversation over coffee and everything in between. I’ve swapped similar stories with my single girlfriends, and the one common denominator we all come to is this:

"Dating is just hard!"

But in truth, so are a lot of other things. Losing weight is hard. Getting the job you want is hard. Going to bed on time is hard. Being an adult is hard. And that’s mainly because these are the stories we keep telling ourselves.

Our mind is our most powerful tool when it comes to success in life and dating, because inevitably, things will go wrong.

However, adopting a positive mindset from the outset can really set you up for success and help you bounce back into a life that’s fulfilling, flirtatious and fun.

Good Guys Do Exist

I’ve been ghosted, breadcrumbed, and been on some less than stellar dates, but I still truly deeply believe that good guys do exist, and you should too.

There are guys out there who actually want to take you on a date and treat you with the respect, care and attention you deserve. There are guys who will open the door for you, not because society tells them they have to, but because they want to. There are guys out there who will pick up the phone and call you just to ask you how your day was, which almost feels better than receiving a bunch of flowers.

There are good men out there, and dating is just the screening process you need to find the right one.

Men ARE interested in relationships

The advent of dating apps has brought with it the ever-present notion of the next best thing being only one swipe away.

Contrary to popular belief, NOT all guys are only interested in one thing, and commitment is NOT a dirty word. Men are emotional creatures just like we are. They want to be loved and cared for just like we do. Their hearts are prone to being broken just like ours, but society has conditioned them to downplay this softer side and play up the player mentality.

Instead of blaming the players, take responsibility for what YOU actually want. If it’s just a bit of fun - go for it! Keep it casual, but also be honest with yourself and the other person if your feelings change. And on the flip side if you’re after something more serious make that known in a friendly, playful way and maybe take things at a slightly slower pace. Then if he doesn’t stick around, well then honey - he wasn’t the right man for you.

You Are Enough!

Before you can have a great relationship with someone else, you need to first have a great relationship with yourself.

I think a big downfall of many women (and men) is that they seek love, sex or intimacy as a fix for something in their life. However, relying on someone else for your happiness is not healthy. YOU need to build a life you love, and truly be comfortable and confident in your own skin first. Otherwise, you might fall into the trap of seeking approval from others even if they don’t meet your values and standards because you just want to feel special.

You need to get to a point where you truly believe you are enough just as you are, with or without someone.

Hope this helps

Much love

Sarah x


So, where have all the good men gone?

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