Everybody knows how to have a conversation!
Even if you’re shy or nervous. The truth is you know how to do it. You’ve already been doing it for years, day in and day out.
When it comes to dating, having any old conversation with the guy you like is unfortunately not going to cut it and its definitely it NOT flirting.
For example, let's say you get chatting to the cute guy form accounts at Friday night work drinks.
You exchange some pleasantries, ask about his weekend plans, talk about why the printer is still broken and how busy the week has been...
It goes really well, but here's the thing, you're not flirting, you're just having a conversation.
Flirting is your ability to spike the chemistry in the conversation and build sexual tension with him.
When it comes to conversation, flirting is secretly more than just verbal communication, it's actually about sub-communication. It’s an art in building up the sexual tension and attraction while using particular words and phrases.
Conversation is one of the most influential tools you have in your dating arsenal. You can influence the way people think and feel just by engaging in an exciting and captivating chat.
Imagine you're talking to the guy you see every day at the gym. If you use them right, your conversation skills can do so much more than just build rapport, they can also help you build the chemistry you need to pique his interest.
So how can you do it?
Simple, get choosy with your WORDS.
Let me explain more,
There are two language types you can use in a conversation.
There is comfort language that builds rapport and is likely to form part of your everyday conversations.
These are safe, low risk and comfort building words.
Then there is the attraction language that will flip his chemistry switches and likely to be something you avoid in conversation.
These are cheeky, playful, naughty and sometimes risky attraction building words.
LET'S TALK COMFORT
Cute. Sweet. Cool. Lovely. Good. Great. Nice.
How often do you use see these words creeping into your conversations with him?
“That’s a cute jacket”, “You are such a sweet guy”, “That’s really nice of you", “You look good today”, "You're a cool guy", "how good is the weather today"
Think about it, if you call us 'cute', we definitely won’t get offended, but it probably won’t pique our interest either. To be honest, It's unlikely that we will even register that you are into us.
Nobody wants to feel like they are not sexy or attractive to the opposite sex, especially men, and more often then not, if we feel like we're just a friend, then we will always just be a friend.
WORD TO THE WISE: People who only build comfort and rapport in their conversations, seriously risk falling straight into the dreaded friend zone. Don't be that girl!
LET'S TALK ATTRACTION
Dangerous. Edgy. Trouble. Risky. Naughty.
Bad. Incredible. Sexy. Hot. Cheeky
I want you to think about these words. Seriously, just take a minute and hear them in your head, how do they sound to you, say them out loud if you need to.
Start to bring them into your every day vocabulary, be brave and throw them in to normal conversation, normal sentences and just see what happens.
“You’re so bad for me”, “You smell incredible”, “Sydney is such a sexy city”, “Let's grab a cheeky beer tonight”, “We would be so much trouble together”.
Can you hear how the tone has changed and how it sounds so much more flirty?
The next time you are talking to a guy, drop these flirty words into the conversation like it's going out of fashion. Tweak your language and take few risks with the things you say.
I’m not telling you to restructure your entire conversation style, I’m just saying pepper these words in across the chat.
You will be surprised as to how he choose to hear it, if anything he'll at least take notice.
WHY THIS WORKS
Our male mind is beautifully simple, we are hardwired to pick up on the slightest mention of sex, no matter how subtle.
When you subtly start to pepper in the 'attraction language' into the conversation, you start to demonstrate that you can be cheeky, fun, playful and sexual. you are sub-communicating "I like you" and you're comfortable with showing it.
It’s not direct. It’s not “Hi, by the way, I’m really good in bed”.... It’s just a subtle push towards, "hey, i'm interested, take note".
A great way to ping on his radar.
Try it yourself.